Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Ted Bonobo Reviews: VANILLA SKY
Cracking Film. About a really succesfull good looking stud, who gets mutilated in a car crash, and his life falls apart BRILLIANT !
He ends up killing someone whilst shafting her, and it turns out in the end that he was in a computer game, or something. Or Something else, still cant work out the end.
Rating: High Brow Total recall, you get to see Penople Cruz's puffy nipples.
BONOBO RATING: 2 Pulsating Bell Ends.
FRANK'S GOTTA QUESTION FOR TED:
Hey Ted, question for ya, the photograph here of Tom and P Nipples - isn't it a take on a Bob Dylan album cover?
TED'S GOTTA ANSWER FOR FRANK:
Hey Frank, at first I thought yea, ok, maybe it looks a bit like the the cover photo on the album Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, then I took a closer look - check out the parked VW!
What's going on here Frank, a simple homage to The Man?
Or is this the work of Lizards?
FRANK SAYS:
You know what Ted, Tom C has beliefs very similar to David Icke's; Infact that Scientology bullshit makes David Icke's beliefs look almost plausible! - Hey, how about this for a movie: L. Ron Hubbard's Aliens V David Icke's 4th Dimension Lizards in - THE ULTIMATE BATTLE OF WRONG IDEAS (let's not mention those other silly religions, it's a tricky time for all wrong 100%'s).
P.S FROM FRANK: Those creepy guys and girls from the Icelandic band Sigur Ros, provide a splendidly atmospheric soundtrack to this movie.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Frank Bonobo Reviews: OLD BOY
WOoOP ! WOoOP ! AAAAAAAH-HOoOManNA !
OLD BOY - OH BOY ! WHAT A MOVIE !
Review: This is what it's all about. Asia cinema does it again. Here's another great movie delivered to us by Tartan Asia Extreme, surely the most consistantly mind blowing movie postman in the galaxy ! Asia cinema rocks like a hundred million stone Jimmy Hendrixs. What's Old Boy all about? At first glance it's a violent movie about love, incest, and revenge, but glance again and you will see that it's a movie about the all consuming power of memories and their malleability.
Ted, my brain bones are scorched, I gotta go and pull all me teeth out and lie down in me own damp mouth, on me own soft tounge ... what a fuckin movie, I think I'll try to come up with an advert for Tartan Asia Extreme movies.
BONOBO RATING: 100 FLESHY TOOLED HAMMERS.
2 hrs later:
Hey Ted, Here's my advert for Tartan Asia Extreme movies:
" Hi, I'm Frank Bonobo, part man, part bonobo monkey, 98% fuckin film critic, and whenever I feel like sitting paralysed in my own piss, in a dark room, with my mouth hanging open, I reach for a ' Tartan Asia Extreme Movie Product '.
- Tartan Asia Extreme Movie Products, they never fail to impress. "
What do you think Ted? Yea, me too - I'll fax it to 'em right now.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
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