Frank Bonobo Reviews: THUMBSUCKER.

A film about a teenage boy, who can't stop sucking his thumb, a film about identity, coming of age and Ritalin.
Rating: Ted and I ain't got thumbs! Well, not real flesh thumbs, we got detachable prosthetic thumbs, in all kinds of crazy shapes and sizes; so watching this kid suck his real flesh thumb all the time made me fantasize some real, wild, good sick stuff. That aside the film is very good, very well acted, with a great script. The lead actress got me so sexually fat, I had to shave off all my body hair to make sure there was still just one of me under there!
BONOBO RATING: 3 Huge Quirky Cocks

Frank Bonobo Reviews: PALINDROMES.

Yes! What a movie! A surreal meditation on paedophilia and abortion, two subjects that a country called America (at
least it's media) are presently obsessed with. It also explores the building blocks of an individual's personality.
Rating: One of the best, intelligent, and cleverest films I have ever seen; very funny as well as thought provoking, with more original ideas and toe curling moments than a bonobo orgy in a haunted house.
BONOBO RATING: 16 Massive Cocks and a Bag of Bum holes to Slot 'Em In.

NOTE TO TED: As our kind captors have explained to us - 100%'s are not allowed to fuck kids, if they do they are locked up in a cell and called a paedophilia. The vast majority of paedophilias appear to be famous white blokes in the entertainment industry.

Frank Bonobo Reviews: THE WHALE AND THE SQUID.

Wife with a blossoming writing career leaves husband whose writing career has stalled. Husband and two sons (one a teenager, the other a kid) can't cope with the break-up, they each become pathetically lost without the mother, and each experience difficulties (traumas) in their sex lives. Wife keeps the house, moves her new young handsome fuck in, and gets on with her new life.
Rating: Excellent, hilarious.
BONOBO RATING: 9 Huge Smiling Cocks.

Hey Ted, check out this photograph I found of a giant squid trying to fuck a sperm whale in the mouth!

Ted Bonobo Reviews: BLACKBALL

A story about a renegade lawn bowls player. Based in Torquay with Johnny Vegas, Paul Kaye, and bizarly Vince Vaughn.
Utter Utter shite britcom, but incredibly, based on a true fucking story!
Rating: One amusing part, still cant get over that it's based on a true story.


BONOBO RATING: 1 Semi Lob

The Birth Of Movie Bonobo!

Ted Bonobo: Hey Frank, I've got an Idea -
Frank Bonobo: Has it got anything to do with movies or sex?
Ted Bonobo: Both!
Frank Bonobo: That's my kind of idea brother - what is it?
Ted Bonobo: Check it out; let's put our film reviews out there in blog world.
Frank Bonobo: What the fuck is blog world?
Ted Bonobo: It's a place in the sky created by imaginary beings, where a couple of sick, half human, half bonobo monkey perverts, like us, can at last publish their film reviews.
Frank Bonobo: Fuck Ted, good idea - I'll shoot a bucket full to that!
Ted Bonobo: Here's a bucket.
Frank Bonobo: It's already full.
Ted Bonobo: Sorry, here - try this one.